I need support

I'm pretty sure that no one reads this blog, but if anyone does I could really use an ana/mia buddy right now...I'm trying so hard but I keep failing...I was really gross today...and I can't make myself puke, despite trying....normally at home, I would do a form of laxative (mineral oil), but I don't have any at boarding school and my friends will wonder why i need it...I don't wanna have to purge and I can't here!!! There is no privacy here so purging is difficult to say the least. I just need the motivation to keep the calories down to begin with. If anyone out there reads this, your help would be more than appreciated. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this...