Quick update.

I've decided to re-try the whole no chocolate thing. I've been good for two days so far...my goal this time is to make it to four days. I think I'll gradually work up to going a week. On the weight front I'm about the same. I've decided to up my calories for the next two weeks and zigzag them around a bit. I've noticed that recently although my weight stays the same, I'm weaker and my clothes are tighter...i think it's because I was eating so little for the level of activity i maintain that it was all turning to fat, and taking my muscle with it too....which is exactly what i don't want to happen...so I'm aiming for around an average of 1600 calories a day...with my level of activity though that's about a 1000 calorie deficit, so I don't feel as repulsed by that number as i could be...anywho, hope you all are doing great and having success in getting slim in time for summer...

FUCK!

I screwed up....

I broke the no-chocolate rule...I was walking home from class and I stopped in CVS to get something to drink cuz it's a million degrees in NYC right now...and I saw the Easter chocolate on sale....I swear I don't think I was even controlling my actions any more...before I knew it I was in my room with wrappers around me...I'm so ashamed. I mean I couldn't eat a 400 calorie sandwich because of the guilt today, but I can zone out and eat about 2,000 calories of chocolate in one sitting? NO!!!

I'm just sooo frustrated with myself. It's like I'm literally an addict! I didn't even enjoy it either. It didn't even taste GOOD!!! But could I stop myself? NO! And you want to know what makes it even worse? I feel too sick to go to the gym now....that's right...I am too much of a fat disgusting cow to go to the gym...I need to stop failing. The last few days were perfect and then I had to go and fuck them all up, because that's what i do best....

Day 3

Today was meh. I slightly better net calories-wise. It would have been better, but I couldn't keep going exercise-wise. I felt like my legs were going to give out from under me. Not the most pleasant feeling. Also NO CHOCOLATE TODAY!!! YAY ME!!! Four more days....okay, that kinda depressed me...I'm not even half-way through my no chocolate week, and I'm already fantasizing about having my first bite of chocolate on Sunday...I actually am willing time to go faster so I can have it NOW!!! Anywho...

Intake:

Breakfast:

1 Blueberry Muffin: 510 calories

1 Cup green tea: 2 calories

3/4 cup Vanilla Lowfat Yogurt: 135 calories

1/2 cup Strawberry Halves: 25 calories

1/4 cup Blueberries: 17 calories

Lunch:

1 Cup Spinach : 7 calories

1/2 Cup Chopped Yellow Peppers: 42 calories

1/4 Cup Feta Cheese: 60 calories

1/3 Cup Edamame: 60 calories

Snack:

2 Tbsp Garlic Hummus: 70 calories

3 oz Baby Carrots: 35 calories

Dinner:

Strawberry Smoothie: 280 calories

Oatmeal Cookie: 310 calories

Output:

1 hour elliptical (aerobic program):4.76 miles, 575 calories

Total: 978 calories

P.S. I think I'm going to try and stay in the 800-1200 net calorie range from now on...it's super tough right now but that's because my body hasn't been on an amount this low in a while. It just needs some time to adjust and then this will be a piece of cake (relatively)....Stay strong lovelies!!

The good, the bad and the ugly

Hey guys,

I made it through another day without chocolate!!! YAY ME!!! But what I resorted to eating to NOT eat chocolate=BAD, BAD VERY BAD!!!!

Intake:

Breakfast:

1 Blueberry Muffin: 510

1 Cup Green Tea: 2

1/2 Banana: 100

Lunch:

Mixed Green Salad with Strawberries, Feta, and Pecans: 380

Snack:

2 Tsp hummus: 70

3 oz Baby carrots: 35

Dinner:

6oz Raspberries

1 cup nonfat Cottage Cheese: 160

2 Pop Tart Strawberry Pastries: 400 (REALLY didn't need those, but I needed carbs really bad and in a moment of desperation i went for the only non-chocolate, semi-appetizing thing in the vending machine)

Output:

1 hour on the elliptical (Fat Burning Hills mode) : 645 calories, 5.45 miles

Total:1,100 net calories

I know it's not even that bad, but I still feel like an obese cow for eating that much today. I really wanted to be at 800 today, no more than 900 and I would have succeeded if not for those stupid pop tarts.

But alas, tomorrow is a new day...and I'm going to do better...no chocolate...and no pop tarts...and the same amount of gym minimum. Hopefully SOMETHING will change if I can keep this up for the rest of the week....five more days....I can do this?

New challenge

I've decided to try and not eat any chocolate in any form whatsoever for the next week. That means that not one single M&M will pass my lips. For anyone who doesn't know me this is a huge deal. I'm the type of person that has a severe addiction to chocolate. I think the longest I lasted without a single bite was 2 days.

This is not to loose weight. Chocolate doesn't really make me fat cuz I have a super duper handy chocolate allergy that makes it run through me like water. It's all the stuff that comes with chocolate: the cakes, candies, ice creams, etc. THOSE don't go through me. And my sweet tooth has been hyper-active lately.

I've pretty much made it through day one. Hopefully I can make it through another 6 days of this.

I found this article today. I find it rather amusing and honest.

A Modest Weight-Loss Proposal

As a practicing physician it never ceases to amaze me when an overweight patient doesn’t follow my advice. After a Yale University liberal-arts education, a degree in psychology, four years of medical school, an Internal Medicine residency, four years of emergency room work and more…where did I go wrong?

Usually people respond positively to my gravitas and depth of knowledge. The recommendations I give can make an enormous difference…after all, we are talking about life-shortening, debilitating chronic illnesses, the ones precipitated and worsened by overweight.

Why don’t most overweight or obese Americans slavishly follow the warnings of the medical community? It’s certainly not from lack of publicity: every newspaper and television show seems to have an article or segment devoted to health issues. Yet only 5-10% of dieters keep the pounds off permanently and never revert to their former bad habits. What’s wrong with the other 90%? Aren’t they afraid of death?

Somewhat sheepishly I have often posed to colleagues the hypothesis that there is only one diet that would really work wonders. I call it The April 15th Diet. Don’t bother to look for the recipe book, spin-off products, or in fact any nutritional information. On The April 15th Diet you can eat unlimited portions of anything that you want for almost 365 days. Sounds terrific, no?

Then on April 15th of every year you will report to the local post office. After your retina scan and DNA sample pass inspection, you will hand the clerk a notarized copy of your previous year’s income tax returns. You will then step onto a special scale that will measure height and weight, immediately calculating your Body Mass Index. A bar-code sticker will be printed and affixed to your tax return. Then you are done for the day.

Several months later you will receive an envelope from the Internal Revenue Service. They will have audited your tax return and calculated your refund.This amount, however, will be adjusted downwards for every unit of Body Mass Index higher than ideal. Only people who demonstrate sufficient personal responsibility, self-control, and successful results will qualify for a full refund. Incomplete efforts, “trying” or total neglect will lead to incrementally increasing deduction from the funds. Parents are also penalized for the behavior and overweight of their children.

The money saved by instituting this program would be incalculable. Since overweight and obese American will eventually divert money from the healthcare system to pay for their insulin injections, cardiac surgery, dialysis treatments and seeing-eye dogs, it is economically wiser to extract some sort of pre-payment beforehand. Illnesses that affect all people equally (cancer,

influenza, broken bones) should be “paid for” by all citizens since they are all more or less at identical risk. However, the concerned citizen of the future might ask his obese neighbor: “You pay for your own ice cream. Why should I share the cost of your medication, hospitalization and nursing care?”

Americans share only two things in common: death and taxes. The fear of premature death is not sufficient to motivate people to lose weight. The possible loss of disposable income, on the other hand, would certainly change hearts, minds and bellies very quickly. Memberships in health clubs would sky-rocket, especially in March. Nutritionists, rather than accountants, would have to work around the clock in early April. Cobwebs and tumbleweeds would surround fast-food stores, and long lines would form at salad bars at the crack of dawn.

Get angry, stamp your feet, write a Letter to the Editor! I know that The April 15th Diet is the worst diet that you ever heard of…but boy would it work!

I need to be honest.

I kinda failed at the fasting thing. I haven't fasted in so long that I forgot some basics. For example, fasting while bleeding from your uterus tends not to work so well. Yesterday, I was doing really well, but around 20 hours after I started my fast I started to feel like I was about to blackout. So I ate. I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to pass out and have to be taken to the hospital or anything. I've been relatively good though since then. But lesson learned: only fast when you're not losing blood. I think I'll try again next weekend when I won't be on my period and hopefully it'll go better then.

Either way I'm not too disappointed. Even though I didn't make it an entire day, when I weighed myself this morning I weighed 152.2 pounds. That's a drop of 3.8 pounds!!!! If I can accomplish that in 20 hours I can definitely do better next weekend for two whole days!!!! Super excited about it now!!!