I've had a really low couple of days. Part of it probably stems from the the fact I was on a binge from yesterday afternoon until about 2 pm today. I haven't eaten a bite since then, nor do i plan to....I plan to eat less than 800 calories tomorrow to compensate.
I've been browsing a lot of sites, blogs and YouTube vids lately about EDs and I've realized that people blame the media way to much. It's not their fault. The media is everywhere and if the media is what causes this, why isn't EVERYONE like me?
No, we blame the media, because that way they can pretend it's not their fault. It's not them who fuck up their own children, relatives, friends, even the random people we pass on the street.
I also find it ironic that being overweight is equally as unhealthy as being underweight, even more so, as some studies have indicated. And yet, where are the countless stories telling them that they are SICK that they NEED HELP. There aren't. There are countless stories about diets and exercises trends, but nothing on why society is fat....or how to fix it for that matter. I truly feel that part of the reason that society goes after EDs with such zeal is that they threaten the average. The average of fatness. We stick out too much to be ignored or overlooked. And because of that we need to be silenced. Condemned.
If it's the infernal media's fault, than the reason that girl developed anorexia CAN'T be because her parents made her feel worthless. The reason people develop binge eating disorders CAN'T be because of the disdain of their family and friends. And yes, even you random strangers are responsible. Don't think that we don't see the way you look at us! I'm guilty too. I know that I look at fat people with disdain, even disgust. And I get those looks all the time too. From skinny people, fat people, average people. I can feel that I'm being judged. And then I want to disappear....and when I don't eat....I feel like i could fade away....just maybe...and then I won't have to go another day pretending I don't notice that I'm a massive disappointment.
The media. The Fashion Industry. Designers. Pro-Ana/Mia websites and literature. They are all just convienient scapegoats so that we can keep pretending that the real villains in the propagation of eating disorders, of negative body image in general, is ourselves.