Thoughts

I am worthless. I feel copmletely worthless all the time. Like my fat ass is a waste of space. Like everytime I lose control I deserve to live less and less; because if I can't control myself, then why should I even be here?
I feel worthless every time I lie and say I'm fine, especially to my friends. I even feel worthless about writing this, because as usual, no one else is there. It's just me, myself and I, as always. I wish I could say I'm okay with that, but I'm not. I never have been. I feel worse every time someone says something nice to me, because it seems like I'm so pathetic, they're being nice out of pity. I don't want their pity. I just want to be accepted for me. And me is not good enough. I need to be better. I need to be thinner. I need to be smarter. I need to be more graceful. Because then maybe I'll be worth something more than their pity.