A little about myself

I'm currently seventeen and I have an ED...I've had problems with my weight before, starting from around the time I was twelve...I started binge-eating...my mom found out and then monitored EVERY little thing I ate and I gained the weight back and was doing okay until recently...

I go to a boarding school in Europe, and naturally 99% of the girls at me school are thin...the kind of thin, I have NEVER been...And I was okay with that until recently when my mom dropped me off this year...she looked around at all of the girls here and commented on how great and thin they looked, while giving me a derogatory glance...I just couldn't ake it at that point...I'd lost weight over the summer, and thought that i looked pretty good...but apparently that was never enough...so I started binging again and lowly cut out certain food altogether...and it felt good...and I'm looking better...and I don't want to stop.  Because when you're thin, everything is better. So here are the reasons I want to be thin, and beautiful:

1. To not stick out like a sore thumb at my school of rail thin glamazons.

2. For my mother to not think less of me because I'm not a stick like her or my sister.

3. To make what's on the inside match the outside.

4. So that maybe some guy can be interested in what they see...

5. To be able to wear all the beautiful things I see in stores without looking disgusting in them and insulting the designer who created them...

6. To become something other than the sweet, but fat best friend stereotype...

7. So that maybe I can concentate on other things than how fat i am...