sorry I've been MIA for like the past 4 months but I was kinda trying to be better/healthy...but I'm weak...I start to get stressed or fail at something and I return to my old EDNOS ways to try and get order...
Anywho I kinda cracked today when I pretty much fucked up one of my classes for the semester....and it's only been one week...
I didn't eat anything the rest of the day after that....so I basically did a 18 hour fast....and I walked about 3 miles to try and clear my head...i feel empty and almost numb....and I don't really mind
I almost miss the numbness that I used to feel when I was at my worst...
On a side-note I found out that my current goal weight is actually healthy....At the moment I am 151.2 pounds and my BMI is 22.5. At my goal weight of 130 I will be 19.3. I hope to reach this goal by Christmas. I'd be happy if I get down to 135 by then though. Ideally I would like to weigh 120-5 giving me a BMI of 17.8-18.6 which is right on the upper edge of unhealthy...I would like to weigh 115 but I tend to look thinner than I weigh, people already tend to guess my weight as about 140....10-5 pounds less than my weight....so if I get down to about 125 I will probably look like I weigh in the teens.....I don't want to get too bony...I look bony from certain angles as is....I just want to be less blobby...
Only do this if it makes you happy. We'll support you no mater what you choose.
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