Friday, January 28, 2011

I'm worried...

On a good note, all of my clothes are loose. Which means that I’ve probably lost weight. I can’t really check that though because I’m at school and have to access to a scale.
On a different note, my depression is getting worse. I’ve cried myself to sleep for the last three nights in a row. And my insomnia has done a 180 and turned into constant fatigue. It’s never been this bad before. I know that this is not healthy, and that I need to do something about it, but I’m too terrified.
What if I get the help i need for my mental health, but that doesn’t fix anything? What if they try and force me to get treatment for my ED? What if they tell my family? I need to get some things off of my chest to a real live person that I won’t have to face the next day and see their disdain. Otherwise I feel like I might self-destruct at any moment.

1 comment:

  1. I'm really sorry your depression is getting worse. I don't know if going to a counselor would fix anything, i never did it myself but maybe you should try.
    About telling your family...When my parents noticed that i was underweight they threatened to put me to the hospital and then i had to drink some medicine and they kept telling me how stupid, ugly, useless i was even after i gained i figured it didn't matter so now i'm losing weight again...
    But you can tell your parents that you're very depressed. They might help if you don't mention any food issues, i guess.
    Or talk to your best friend, but make sure she/he won't tell anybody.
    You can try to overcome depression by yourself, i tried though i didn't really overcame it, i just learned how to distract myself but it helps as well.
    Take care and stay strong!

    If you'd like to talk, you can message me.