Friday, October 8, 2010

Sorry it's been a while...

I've been bad....I started college a little more than a month ago and because I didn't want ot have to deal with the questions and the nagging right away. I ate. I wanted to be normal for once and see if could be happy like that. I can't. I wieghed myself the other day...ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THREE MOTHER FUCKING POUNDS!!!!! Admittedly, this was at 11 o'clock at night after a HUGE binge that I STILL feel guilty about, but I was doing so well. Well, not well, passable. Anything other than gaining is acceptable to me. Not ideal, but at least I'm not getting fatTER.
So I've decided to reinstate my ED behavoirs that I've been trying so hard to suppress. I am now back to my strict 1200 net calories a day plan, staying under wherever possible. I'm going to the gym every other day where I must burn at LEAST 400 calories. This must also be done in under an hour. The other days I will do strength training. I'm not sure about the exact regimen, but I'll probably come up with something more concrete in the next two weeks.
Lastly, I'm highly considering posting daily eats online in hopes that having my fatty habits explosed on the internet will shame me into eating less. It's not like my body doesn't have enough fat already. I don't get why i can't just eat some of my MASSIVE thighs wen it gets hungry instead of me having to eat something to make them even bigger!!!! (I know that doesn't make sense, but I'm in a really pissed off mood.) Anywho, let me know what you think.
P.S. YAY!!!!! 3 WHOLE FOLLOWERS!!!! I feel loved. <3

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