I kinda don't have anything of importance to sya at the moment, but I felt like I should answer this comment
Chris: I find your concern truly touching and I really do hope that one day I'll wake up and not care what I put into my mouth, but I logically know that that day will probably never come. I've resigned myself to the reality that I'm not good enough, that I never will be, but that that is not a decent enough reason to stop trying. I truly sympathize with you and it's nice to know that there is someone out there who went through/is going through the exact same hell as me. All my love and best of luck with whatever you chose to do about your struggle.